Perspective

     It's really kind of amazing how God can work in our lives.  Lately, He has just sat me down and made me really think about where my life is going and where my priorities lie.  If you've been reading my blog, I'm sure you can see that he started on me a while ago, but this last couple weeks I've really been thinking about what it all means.  I certainly don't have it all figured out yet, but I think He's definately trying to tell me something.

     When I graduated from high school, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  I moved back to Wichita, and my brother helped me to get a job where he was working.  I eventually landed in the electrical field, and that's pretty much been my career for the last 15 years.  About 5 years or so ago, I was given the opportunity to work for the railroad.  I wasn't really looking for a new job at the time, but I told God that if He would make it happen, I'd go there.  By that time, I had a family to support.  Working for the railroad means good pay, excellent healthcare, a few perks, and earlier retirement.  How could I pass that up?  I don't dislike my job, it can be enjoyable at times.  But the past few years I just have felt that I'm simply existing.  I want to make a difference in people's lives. 

      The past year or so, my family has gotten more involved in Church, specifically in the youth group.  God has really laid it on me that I need to have a closer relationship with him, and that's something that I'm working on.  But these last couple weeks have got me thinking  a lot.  I've been off work due to a shoulder injury (don't ask).  And as I've been somewhat out of service, I've had a lot of time to think, pray, listen, and think some more.  Maybe too much thinking and not enough listening.  I just keep feeling that God has a plan for me, a plan that somehow includes a career change and a complete shift in priorities. 

     Up until now, I've been pretty proud of the fact that I've always been able to provide for my family.  I thank God for all of it, but it's still something that I feel accomplished in.  I look forward to the time that I will get to retire and have the rest of my life to just relax, and do what we want to do.  But lately, I'm not sure it's worth it.  I feel that I have a lot to offer to Christ's ministry and that my desire to provide for myself and my family is getting in the way.  I feel like God is telling me "Quit your job and come work for Me".  Now, I'm not one to just jump into anything.  And I don't think that's what He's telling me to do.  I do think, however, that He has sat me on the bench for a bit to just watch the game and get a new perspective.  Maybe I need to take a new look at my playbook, and maybe even re-write it.  I'm sure I'll write more about this as I continue to contemplate it all.